Inspiration: “Brick by Boring Brick” by Paramore
I grew up listening to stories about King Arthur, Davie Crockett, and Paul Bunyan. From there I began reading about Crusades, Roman Legions, Samurai, and World War II platoons. I played Final Fantasy videogames and lived in a world that was all my own. I had an active imagination as most kids do. I became enchanted with the ability to mix history into the stories of our fictional media. It made them seem as if there was a chance they could be real. After all, Medieval stories are full of dragons and demons despite being based on factual events. Is it so hard to believe that such a story as Final Fantasy VI could have truly happened with some slight modifications? I know it did not, but the historical traces laced throughout give it the credence to allow our minds to be encaptured.
If I had the time and the university would not complain, I would sit in on a lot of classes. Currently, I am sitting in on Software Engineering thanks to Dr. Wallingford being nice and the fact I have already taken the class. However, a person can learn an unbelievable amount by simply becoming one with the inner sponge. By listening to people more knowledgeable than one’s self, a person gets introduced to new ideas. Unfortunately, it is not enough to simply sit on these new ideas. They have to be put to practice. I do not know where this quote comes from anymore, but it has been a favorite of mine for a long time:
It works in theory, but fails utterly in application.
It is easy to think I understand something only to try to implement and find out I have no clue what I am doing. Other times, I find the original idea is only applicable to specific situations. Sometimes, it is just a bad idea from the start. Pondering an idea is often a good start, but the approach which often has the most success, and is also the most fun for me, is to put the idea to practice. This website is one such example. I get to play with web development ideas as I learn about them. Some of them work. Some of them suck. Sometimes I write about them and people laugh at me. Sometimes I write things, and people agree to the point they talk about it in their classes. The end result is more feedback from which to learn.
Learning is not passive. Many times people are told to be quiet and just listen to lectures. Maybe they are supposed to read some assigned readings. This is what I referred to earlier as becoming one with the inner sponge. It is a good place to start. It is not the finish line. The most knowledgeable experts in any area tend to live, eat, and breathe their interest. Ask a professional tennis player how long they are on a court, hitting a tennis ball, doing physical training, debating nutrition, dealing with media, et cetera. They did not become good simply be sitting on their butts listening to someone tell them how to hit a serve. They got out on the courts and did it.
Eventually those engaged in a field will become the new experts. Then they will share what they have learned with the next generation. It may simply be by communicating with an old friend who happens to be a university professor. It may be at a conference with their peers. It may be via a blog. Regardless, they share the information in some ways. This is how knowledge has been passed down for millennia. The key is to get in on the scoop rather than being left by the wayside.
I realized a couple of days ago I am at the end of the last summer vacation of my life. I will graduate college in December and enter the working world. To get a day off, I will have to wait for a holiday, or use ever precious time off. Fortunately, I have spent this last week making the most of it.
Friday, August 14, was the last day of my summer internship. I had spent the last three summers working in IT for the same company. I changed teams after the first year, but only moved a couple cubicle rows down. In other words, I saw the same floor of coworkers every summer for three years. It was interesting as I was packing up to leave because it hit me that I will never work as a student employee again. Students are always treated a little differently than normal employees. In every job I have had, student employees have been at least mildly protected from some of the mind-numbing tasks every job entails. Instead, I have been allowed to pursue the job tasks that interested me the most. I have also been able to avoid some of the red tape and bureaucracy slowing down some of my other team members. When in doubt, the simple line, “I didn’t know. I am only an intern.” will go a long ways. The trick is using it in a way to benefit the team I worked with everyday. It is seen as taking the initiative to get a job done with other coworkers are being a bit stringent. I was taught this clever technique by one of my leaders my first summer who used to me to contact business associates for information while being unable to give it myself since I did not know any details in which they were interested. There is a possibility I return to the same company to begin my career, but it is still up in the air at this point. Coincidentally, “Broken” by Seether was the last song to play on Pandora before I shut my computer down for the last time. The lyrics can be found here.
My three summer internships meant a summer spent in a city separated from my hometown and college. It was a blast. My sister and her family lived nearby which resulted in lots of summer evenings grilling food and hanging out on their back deck. I had a few friends from high school in the area which I would meet up with on occasion. There was also tennis and videogames. Perhaps the best part of it all was getting out on my own. I am one of those people who gets claustrophobic when I am constantly around people. Moving to a city seems like it would be a problem, but it was easy to tuck away in my apartment. Rather than having to make efforts to get away from everything, the inverse became true. I was making efforts to get out and do some things. Having an evening with nothing to do and being completely free to decide without anyone nagging may be one of the greatest experiences of all time. I have always loved driving across towns late at night in the summer when I am returning home from being out with friends. Being able to roll the windows down, turn up the music, and just cruise is amazing. Having my own apartment in a city was a parallel sensation. Of course, “Good Riddance” by Green Day had to come on the radio as I was driving out of town to move my stuff back to college. As before, the lyrics can be found here.
Then I got a week off before classes started. In that time, I have played nine holes of golf in which I shot my lowest score yet. It was the consistent round I have been looking for all summer. I have played tennis a couple of times. I have gone disc golfing for the first time in years. I have played Rock Band for a handful of hours. I had to get a shower mat to put down on the hardwood floors in my current house to keep the drum set from sliding across the floor. There have been countless hours of playing Call of Duty 4 including a few of the most epic moments yet. This all after two years spent playing the game. According to the statistics in game, I have logged almost two full weeks of my life playing the game. It is one of the greatest of all time in my opinion. I have taken some time to edit some video from the game as well. An afternoon was spent on web development. I have watched the movies Marley and Me, King Arthur, Jaws, and Eddie Izzard’s Dress to Kill. Last night brought several friends around a bonfire in our backyard until the whee hours of the morning. Last, but not least, I have gotten to spend several hours in the evening hanging out with my girlfriend after she has gotten off work. She will be much busier during the semester so it is nice to spend some time now. Something about double majoring, working, and being a collegiate athlete takes up a lot of time during the school year apparently.
All told, it has been a great summer. I have been wanting to write this blog post for over a week now. Funny that I am getting to it on the very last night before classes start. I remember when high school was getting ready to end, I was ready to kick back and just enjoy the end of it. I probably could have done a little better in the activities I participated in, but I doubt I could have enjoyed them much more. While I had a great time, I was ready to move onto something new. I planned my college schedule to have an easy semester to wrap things up. To the point I have two classes, one of which may very well be one of the easiest classes I will take at UNI. The other is just going to be pretty darn cool. Then I will be doing my undergraduate research which should be fun. Finally, I will be sitting on a third class so I might actually know something about the topic, software engineering, since my degree’s emphasis is in it, and the professor who taught it when I took it knew nothing about the matter. Needless to say, I have four months of sports, videogames, football, computers, and friends. It will be a good time.
So my sister has requested I write something other than technical blogs from time to time. This becomes a bit of a problem when I live, breathe, and eat code. It turns out if I buy the right kind of cereal, I can get some decent pseudocode going in the morning. Though, I will say it is difficult to find cereal with semi-colons and curly braces. For those wondering what I have been up to this summer, I currently have four websites on the table with negotiations still wrapping up for one of them. That does not count any of my personal projects such as this one. To make matters worse, I have come across the blogs of Jeremiah Grossman and RSnake, two elite web security specialists. The results of this has been me spending a portion of my time tonight reading some web security talks online as well as tinkering with Fierce and Nessus. Remember how I started this post by talking about how my sister wants me to talk a little less about geeky stuff? That does not mean I remembered it while writing this. Actually, I just meant this to be an update on what I have been up to lately and a lot of it is technology oriented. Call me a geek if you must.
What else have I done? A week ago I participated in my first United States Tennis Association tournament. I walked into the whole thing very tentatively. I have not played competitively since high school four years ago unless you count the poorly organized intramurals at college. I started to play semi-regularly last fall along with playing some this spring. However, I had not hit in a solid two months when I decided to register for the tournament. As a result, I chose the easiest skill level since I was not sure what I would be getting myself into, and I figured winning easily would be more fun than getting crushed. It turned out only one other person registered for my division and it was quite easy. I had gotten in a couple hours of hitting with an old friend on Wednesday. Still, I was hitting even better come the time of the tournament on Saturday. I managed to get a cool t-shirt, a nice plaque, and an instructor’s phone number to call about hitting sometime. All said, the tournament was pretty fun, and I am looking to go to another in Cedar Rapids this weekend. I will make sure to step up a skill level this time around.
This past weekend was a lot of fun. I drove up to Cedar Falls to spend some time with my girlfriend along with attend a wedding of a previous roommate further on down the road. Taking time to relax and watch movies with Jess was great and the wedding was a blast. We also got to watch some of The Open, Tour de France, and PBR on tv on Sunday. For those who dont know, The Open is the equivalent of the golf US Open but in Britain, Tour de France is bicycling, and PBR is Professional Bull Riding. To top the weekend off, we went out golfing on an amazing day. Needless to say, the weekend was over in no time, and I was back dabbling with computers in my apartment.
Tonight has been another moment of relaxation. I started with taking care of some apartment errands early on. Then I proceeded to dabbling in web security reading and tinkering. That was followed up with watching the Chicago Cubs look terrible again along with some light web development. In case you have not noticed, I have implemented a couple new themes and a theme changer to account for different reader preferences. Hopefully, I will continue to improve on this feature over time. I was able to catch up to July on Wallingford’s blog as well. Now I am finishing off the night with a little Sportscent on ESPN and writing this. With that said, good night!
I turned twenty-two today. My Ancient Near East professor jokingly asked our class what we had done with our lives when talking about Alexander the Great. The man was twenty years old when his father, King Philip II, was assassinated, most likely in a plot formed by Alexander himself. By the age of twenty-two, he was invading the Persian Empire and Asia. People always talk about turning over the reins of control to the next generation. I am seven months out from my collegiate graduation. I watch the fate of today on the news. I think about the fate of tomorrow when I go to bed. I have spent the last 17 years of my life studying in school for the day when I will look down and see the fate of the world in the palms of my hands. You can call me arrogant for thinking I will have such importance when that day comes. I will call you ignorant for not realizing the weight which rests on your shoulders. It is not about you or me. It is about us. The choices we make as individuals affect us on a whole. Whether we like it or not, we are in this together. Remember those classes in school when you were assigned a group to complete a project? It is time to pull those skills down off the shelf and dust them off. You are on this planet with the rest of us and we have to find a way to make it work. You can stand in the corner uncertain of what to do. If you do, I will climb up on the table and start to direct you. We might do everything wrong. Maybe we will do everything right. I am guessing we will make some mistakes along the way, but we will also get a lot of things right. However, in the end, rise or fall, I am determined to make it one hell of a story. Regardless, get involved. I do not care where or with what, but do your share to make a difference.
I am currently in the middle of my finals week. I had my easiest test Monday night which I got a B+ on. All I had to get on it was a C or so to maintain an A- overall in the class, and it was impossible for me to get an A overall so the test was pretty pointless. That was for Personal Wellness, a class which is two-thirds pointless; hence, my lower grade in it. I do not do well with pointless schoolwork. I never have.
I spent the vast majority of today studying as I have my three hardest tests tomorrow: Ancient Near East, History of Ireland, and the dreaded Perspectives on Death & Dying. I have to get a B on my Death & Dying test to pass the class since I need an overall C to have it count for a major requirement. It will be my lowest grade ever largely due to difficult content, busy work which I also do not do well on since I see it as pointless, being in the thick of my mono during the first test, an overwhelmingly busy semester anyways, and all topped off by the fact that my professor and I do not see eye to eye. The class and his test questions are all highly philosophical with no single correct answer. Unfortunately, the only answer he accepts is his. I tend to be too stubborn to go along with such games, and it gets me into trouble.
As for the other two classes, my Ancient Near East test will be fine since that professor and I get along great as far as class content is concerned. This is my third time having him. I got an A- and an A in the previous two classes with him. The only reason I got an A- in the first class, Ancient Greece, was because I was not quite sure what to expect of him in regards to his tests and paper right away. His classes are just tough enough that it cost me an A. The second class, Ancient Rome, I passed with flying colors. I expect the same for this class. History of Ireland will be difficult, but I should do alright on it. I am expecting somewhere in the B+ to A range overall in the class.
My last final is a presentation for my Translation of Programming Languages class. It will simply be a demonstration of our semester long project, the language we designed, and our compiler for it. Our compiler still needs some serious work to be ready for this; not to mention, we have some documentation to write up as well. My last final tomorrow ends at 7pm. After that, I will grab some “Vitamin C”, Skittles, and prepare to go to work. I expect to pull the stereotypical CS all-nighter to complete as much of the compiler as possible. I have to take a break at 10am on Thursday to go into work to have a meeting with my boss and Jess who is filling my position over the summer. The meeting will be rather simple and straightforward to get Jess caught up on anything and everything she needs to know to pick up where I have left off. After all of that, it is time to hit the parties Thursday night and catch some undergraduate research presentations on Friday morning.
Right now my latest tweet on Twitter is “am in the calm before the storm.” In a very sick and morbid way, finals week is kind of fun for me. It is stressful due to the importance of it along with the amount of work to be done. Yet at the same time, there is a lot of fun to be had in destressing and taking breaks from studying. This has been one of the busier finals weeks for me due to the difficulty of my classes, the business of my semester, and the lateness in the week of my actual test times. Normally, I have bought a new videogame as a sort of destressor. This year I have simply made good use of my NHL 08 videogame while watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs on television. Attempting to balance the work and play gets interesting. In some ways, it becomes like a dance as the two play off each other. The harder you work, the harder you need to play to make up for it. Every once in a while, there is a chance to sleep. I guess you could say the expression “work hard, play hard” could not be more fitting. I normally prefer the altered phrase “work hard, play harder” but it just does not always work that way during finals week alone. The week following is another story…
I am currently in a Translation of Programming Languages class. The primary focus of the class is on building a compiler. My class, all six of us, decided to be one single team. We then decided to create our own language which we would compile to Java bytecode. We have been severely behind schedule the entire semester. Recently, I have been thinking about some of the reasons why.
I believe the largest problem was our use of the waterfall lifecycle model. It was not our intention, but we fell into it nonetheless. This caused us to attempt to develop components from start to finish without error on the first try. Not a good idea. The other problem is we have six people on the team. There are not enough different pieces to each component for all six people to be working on one component. An agile pursuit would have suited us far better. Towards the end of the semester as we have started to make progress, I have seen us shift a little more to such tendencies. The nice part about it is it gives us more parts to work on. This allows us to divide the team up rather than clustering on one component and getting in each other’s ways.
The second largest problem we are having is lack of documented project management. Everyone is kind of off working on their own random thing and we randomly bring it together in the svn. However, there is no rhyme or reason to what different people are working on. We have a wiki for documenting decisions, plans, et cetera, but we have not made proper use of it. It probably would have been a better decision to use some sort of project management software to accompany the wiki. One example of the software I am referring to is Trac. This would have let us keep better track of our different requirements and bugs. From there, we could have potentially had a better idea of who would be working on what.
We have had a few other problems along the way such as our use of Subversion for version control. That being said, these other problems have been minor in comparison to the two problems I discussed above or they have been a consequence of those problems. Moral of the story: Software Engineering and Project Management is important!
For my Perspectives on Death & Dying class, I had to write a paper on an experience with death. Here is my paper:
It was midday one Saturday in February of my junior year of high school. I was hanging out with a group of friends playing some games. It was the usual routine when we were not off on some school activity. My buddy, Chris, got a call. One of our friends had been shot in a hunting accident. It all seemed a bit surreal. Surely, he was going to be alright. We continued playing games as if things were not too shaken up, but phone calls kept coming. As the day progressed, the story changed. Our friend had committed suicide.
I have a thousand stories I could tell regarding that day and the week following. The Sunday morning church service was awful because he was not there. Sunday night, I was at Pizza Hut with people I had not hung out with in years. Monday night was a special church service which had more in attendance than I have ever seen in twenty one years. The wake resulted in a line of people stretching out the front door and down the sidewalk. There was a school gathering. A group of my friends walked out the front doors of the school in the middle of the day on Monday. We skipped the second half of Wednesday too. There were no repercussions. They still held class on the day of the funeral, but it was pointless. The cemetery was packed. There was an empty chair at graduation the following year.
Out of all of this, perhaps one of the most important thing I learned is suicide is not simply about the individual. I watched a town of 2,500 people come to a screeching halt in a single weekend. When the topic of suicide comes up in any sort of conversation, my mind starts looking at all the people around me who would be affected. Let me just say it is a long list that stretches across the continent. Not because I am important. Just because that is the effect it has on every single person we know. When I go home on holidays, I still have a few momentos sitting in my bedroom. When Chris and I hang out, I see our friend’s baseball glove sitting on his desk just below a picture of them. When I was home for Christmas, another high schooler had committed suicide. Everyone at church was expressing their sympathies. Turns out I knew his brother. Did I mention my friend committed suicide on his mother’s birthday?
The other major lesson I learned was how quickly it all happens. The expression “one minute they are there, the next they are gone” is not something to be taken lightly. I remember one night in junior high when a game of hide-and-go-seek had broken out on a city block. My friend and I hid out behind Chris’s house just talking about life because the game was not all that exacting. I remember baseball games, making silly videos, and the hours spent playing Golden Eye on the N64. Never even thought about the idea we would not graduate together. Quite honestly, up until that point, I had never thought about anything like that. I was too busy pushing through high school to get into a good college, build a career for myself, and setup the rest of my life. I guess you could say I learned to “stop and smell the roses.” It became alright if I was not playing my best during a tennis match. Taking time to get away from school work and play a few hours of videogames during a stressful week was not blasphemous. I still find myself buying a new videogame during finals week. I put off writing this paper on Monday night because my girlfriend and I had a carton of ice cream in the freezer.
I guess what I am trying to say is take a moment to look around you. When you find something you like, take the time to enjoy it. It will not be there forever.
I frequently have to write journal entries about things I have read for my Perspectives on Death & Dying class. This week we read Seven Choices: Finding Daylight After Loss Shatters Your World – A Pocket Guide by Elizabeth Harper Neeld. I have not written anything new in a while so here is my journal entry for this week:
“If anything, this time of Stumbling in the Dark feels worse than the original crisis-, the news of the loss itself.” (Neeld 2003 12) I thought the name for this phase was perfect. I remember the week following my friend’s suicide in high school. I could not describe it any better. It really was worse than the original day. The first day was not too terribly shaken up simply because I could not comprehend the news. The following days found me completely clueless about how to handle myself. The first day back to school was ridiculous. It all seemed pointless. It was as if I was just putting on an act. I really did not care to be there, but at the same time, I preferred to be there over sitting at home staring at my wall. My nights were filled with as many distractions as possible. Not one moment was dedicated to homework because that would have meant sitting down by myself. There was Pizza Hut, ping pong, movies, videogames, pool, and so on. A group of us took a couple half days off from school to just run around town. Many of these things we had never done before and would never do again.
Neeld mentions an “increase in accidents” as being normal. (Neeld 2003 12) There was a special church service one night that week. On the way there I was involved in a minor fender bender with a couple other classmates. It was not my fault, but I do not doubt for an instance that I would have been able to prevent it if I were more focused. We did not bother even stopping to deal with the accident. Everyone of us knew where the others were going. Once we got to the parking lot, we glanced at our bumpers, had a minor discussion, and left it for our parents to deal with.
It was the same night as the church service that I got into a fight with my girlfriend. She thought I should seek consolation and comfort from her because she was my girlfriend. I essentially stiff armed her in an effort to stand on my own. It does not surprise me since that is a normal reaction for me in my high school years. However, at the time, I was just stumbling in the dark.
You know it’s the end of the school year when:
- it takes you 30 minutes to drag yourself out of bed to go to class
- your girlfriend misses you so much, she is happy just to get an opportunity to talk to you via instant messenger
- you remember enjoying the nice weather during spring break through a window because you were stuck in the library doing research
- it is still snowing, but at least you can find your car
- the police were called in for a domestic disturbance last night when neighbors heard you fighting with your compiler code
- you were happy the police were called in because your code was kicking your butt
- you spend your morning writing a blog rather than doing homework because you are still not on talking terms with your code
- you speak of your code in terms of a bad relationship with a spouse
- you have finally recovered from straining a muscle playing drums on Rock Band because you did not have the time to play in three months
- Duke failed to make the Elite 8 again despite always being in the dance
- your professor gives a lecture on the military aspects of the Assyrian Empire and The Illiad comes to mind instead of Call of Duty 4